Every summer, the species comes out of hibernation and wreaks havoc in your home, eating everything in its path and leaving a mess in its wake. No, we don't mean bears or ants. We're talking about house guests, those all-too-common creatures who show up on your family's doorstep and create total chaos.
It may seem like we're exaggerating, but for every lovely guest we've heard of (like the gracious woman who offered free babysitting services and made a batch of delicious muffins for our friends), there are two awful tales about a selfish or slovenly visitor who made their hosts regret ever opening the front door.
Before you play host or stay with a friend, read our totally anonymous worst-house guest tales.
SIN NO. 1: SNOOPING When you open your home to people, you are trusting them around your most prized possessions and giving them a peek into your private life. But that doesn't mean a guest should abuse that trust. One friend tells us that there was "obvious evidence that the house guest had gone through our things." There were caps left off of items in her medicine cabinet and things hanging out of drawers. "It was totally creepy," she adds.
If you need something -say, a Band-Aid or an Aspirin -don't just rifle through your friend's things, ask. Better yet, pack wisely (that includes all your basic toiletries and a decent medicine kit), so you don't have to hit up your friends for more than they are already providing, which is a roof over your head.
SIN NO. 2: 'HELPING'
This one came up a lot in our survey: The house sitter who overwatered her hosts' plants in the living room but didn't wipe up the resulting flood, causing thousands of dollars of damage to the floors. The guest who unloaded the dishwasher and placed items exactly where they didn't belong ("I couldn't find my cutting boards until we moved!" our friend admitted). The budding chef who insisted on making a gourmet meal but left a messy kitchen that took hours for the hosts to clean up.
Rather than tackling a project without getting clearance, offer to help by asking "What can I do?" Basic good manners -unloading groceries, making the bed, bringing your dishes into the kitchen -don't need an official okay, but before you decide to refinish that antique chair, see if the chair's owner actually wants you do that.
SIN NO. 3: ABUSING THE BEDSHEETS
One friend told us that she found a "mystery stain" on a mattress after a friend departed. Another had an even weirder tale. He and his wife let a couple stay at their home while they were out of town. When they returned, they couldn't find their comforter. When asked, their guests acted surprised and confused. "Oh, yeah, right," they finally offered up, reaching back in their memory from one day earlier -they'd gone to the emergency room with the comforter and then left the bedding in their car and forgotten about it. No further explanation was offered. We once (stupidly, but in our defence, it was our first kid) changed a newborn's diaper on our relative's 80 billion-thread-count king-sized bed. Disaster.
When you're using someone else's sheets or bed, by all means stick to sleeping, not eating, drinking wine, fooling around, changing diapers or anything that might involved a trip to the ER. If you do spill or get dirt on the sheets, immediately tell your hosts and then either do the load of wash yourself or offer to pay for a dry cleaner. If the stain does not come out, insist on replacing the damaged item. And wherever you sleep -be it the couch, floor or guest bedroom -make up your bed every morning. On the last day you're there, strip the bedding and ask if you can do a load of wash or help make the bed up with fresh sheets.
SIN NO. 4: DRINKING TOO MUCH
"My folks lent out their house to some friends who were in town for a wedding. They left their kids at the house with a sitter and attended the wedding. Their sitter proceeded to help herself to my parents' liquor cabinet and then barfed on the living room chair and rug. And then she passed out. Oh, and she was a minor." Granted, this wasn't the fault of the guests, who were mortified, but it was their sitter who caused the gross damage.
Don't drink to excess when you're a guest.
SIN NO. 5: EXPECTING HOSTS TO BE CRUISE DIRECTORS
"People have no idea how much work it is to entertain," says one woman. Her demanding visitors "were so entitled, they expected to be waited on and amused the entire time." Another frustrated homeowner says, "We had people visit for a weekend. Their kids got up at 6 a.m. and ran around the house while the parents slept until 9: 30 or 10 a.m."
Instead of sleeping, he and his wife had to get up, make the children breakfast and watch over them as their parents enjoyed a free morning of babysitting.
If you're visiting friends to spend time with them, see what they have planned and be a good sport (nobody cares if you don't really like county fairs). But you should also be open to doing your own thing, coming up with suggestions for activities and giving your hosts a break from you. P.S. Never expect to be chauffeured around. Rent a car, get a taxi or borrow a bicycle.
SIN NO. 6: FREELOADING
We'd never advocate charging a guest for your hospitality, but many people take advantage of their hosts' generosity. One woman's cousin will often call to say she's coming, then show up later that day with her boyfriend and two young children in tow. "They don't help with dishes or cooking and don't offer to pay -even for themselves -if we go out."
Offer to take everyone out to eat or buy muffins and bagels for everyone for breakfast. Chip in for groceries. Pay the museum entrance fee. If you're driving around and your host needs gas for the car, pay for it (don't take no for an answer).
SIN NO. 7: NOT SAYING THANK YOU
It's surprising how easy it is to forget to thank your hosts -maybe you're racing to catch a flight or your kids are freaking out about getting back into the car and you're focusing on making sure you haven't forgotten anything. But we admit, it stings when our guests don't express their gratitude.
As you are leaving, you should thank your hosts, but we suggest a post-visit thank-you card/call/email/pigeoncarrier letter. If you did not bring a gift when you arrived, a small present would be thoughtful, too, but a heartfelt "thank you" would mean the world.
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